The Distance Between Me and Silence

Jiaxuan Liu

· Confess2025

When I was in elementary school, a boy in my class decided he was in love with me.

Unfortunately, he had not yet mastered the art of subtle courtship. Instead of flowers or

kind words, he resorted to the least romantic method imaginable—he announced to

everyone that I was already his girlfriend. The rumor, absurd as it was, spread through

the school with the persistence of a winter flu, and before long I found myself the

unwilling heroine of a comedy no one had auditioned me for. My classmates teased me

with the confidence of professional comedians, and I, lacking any sharp retort or even

the courage to protest, chose the only defense strategy I could imagine: silence. That

silence, both awkward and suffocating, followed me like a stubborn shadow for the

next three years.

During the summer before middle school, silence still clung to me like an old habit I

hadn’t yet outgrown. That summer, I encountered something I had never imagined in

elementary school: Model United Nations. At first glance, it looked intimidating, with

rows of students in formal clothes, confident voices filling the room, debates unfolding

as if they were actual diplomats. Naturally, I wanted to retreat into the comfort of quiet

observation, the role I knew best. Yet MUN demanded participation. The rules required

me to raise my placard, deliver statements, and, most daunting of all, make my voice

heard. I began to understand that silence, which had once shielded me from

embarrassment, had also become a barrier, separating me from experience itself.

It was during one of those early MUN sessions, when I had barely dared to lift my

placard, that something unexpected happened. As I spoke, my words were hesitant at

first, but they gradually took shape, filling the space between the desks. I noticed heads

turning, eyes meeting mine, and for a fleeting, almost magical moment, I felt a curious

thrill—the kind of thrill that comes not from applause, but from the simple act of being

acknowledged. In that instant, I realized that silence had been more than a habit; it was

a kind of self-imposed exile. I thought of Simone Weil’s idea that attention is a rare

form of generosity: by speaking, I was not only claiming my space but also noticing

and connecting with others. Gaston Bachelard once said that the poetic image resists

inertia; in a way, each word I dared utter was a small act of resistance against the inertia

of my habitual silence.

Over the next three years of middle school life, MUN became both my playground and

my gym—a place where I exercised my voice and stretched my courage. I discovered

the thrill of making a point, the satisfaction of persuading someone, and even the quiet

joy of seeing an idea take root in a debate. I debated the ethical responsibilities of

nations in global climate policy, argued over fair trade regulations in critical minerals,

and navigated heated discussions on digital privacy and youth participation in

governance. I also stood up for women’s rights in developing countries, challenged

discriminatory policies, and advocated for refugees, highlighting the human stories

behind statistics. With every resolution drafted, every speech delivered, the once-daunting silence grew smaller, quieter, and less commanding. What surprised me,

though, was that silence itself did not vanish; rather, it began to play a different role.

The very years I had spent locked in it had sharpened my awareness of how precious

expression could be. In debates, silence also became a pause to listen more intently, to

weigh words before speaking, to give others the space I once craved. In that sense, the

distance between myself and silence was no longer purely an exile to escape from, but

a space I could cross deliberately—sometimes even use—to build connection.

In April of this year, during the second semester of my tenth grade, I stood before

delegates at the United Nations ECOSOC Youth Forum in New York, hardly

recognizing the girl who had endured three years of playground gossip in silence. As I

presented my proposals on youth engagement in global governance, I noticed delegates

from different countries responding with curiosity, some taking notes, others asking

questions that extended the discussion beyond my speech. Several participants

approached me afterward to discuss potential collaborations inspired by my suggestions.

In that moment, I realized that the distance between myself and silence had not just

diminished, but also, it had become a medium for connection and influence. Having

once lived in silence, I had learned how to recognize and respond to it in others—the

quiet student in the back row, the delegate hesitating to speak, the pause in a heated

negotiation. Silence no longer marked absence; it became a bridge, allowing me to

connect with others not only through speech but also through listening and

acknowledgement.

Silence, I saw, had never been purely an enemy or a friend, but a teacher. It revealed

the cost of inaction—the missed chances, the unspoken truths—and precisely through

that contrast, it illuminated the liberation inherent in expression. Without years of

silence, I might have taken voice for granted; only because I had been muted did

speaking feel so transformative. Crossing silence step by step, word by word, felt like

a journey toward self-realization. As Hans-Georg Gadamer suggests, understanding is

always a fusion of horizons: by speaking, listening, and even pausing in silence, I was

not merely communicating, but shaping a shared horizon with those around me,

discovering how my voice could touch others while also revealing myself.